'People of Walmart' in Book Form

The People of Walmart is a photo collage of America at its most overweight, spandexed and ill-dressed while shopping at the mega retailer.

While the People of Walmart site does welcome photo submissions, it is clear in stating that those hopeful of having their photos accepted must "have secured all rights from all other persons who appear in the Submission." Another requirement is that any photo submissions cannot be "defamatory, libelous, abusive, threatening, racist, sexist, homophobic, vulgar, obscene, pornographic, offensive, indecent, or otherwise objectionable."

I think it is pretty safe to assume that for the vast majority of the photos, 1) the "model" has no idea their picture is being taken and 2) they ARE sexist, vulgar, distasteful, indecent, etc.

However, when you visit a WalMart or go online and access "People of WalMart," try to see it as a journey in amusement. The guy or gal with the beer-belly showing beneath the too-small t-shirt, sporting the plaid Bermuda shorts and the "My Other Baseball Cap Says "Rolls Royce" On It" cap, probably meant to dress that way when they left their house.

If you ever need to take the edge off your personal feelings of inferiority, the book form of the People of Walmart is sure to do the trick. The book comes out in September and promises "never before seen photos".

Follow Up: Anti-LeBron T-Shirts Suddenly Quite Popular

The Miami Heat has become the most hated team in America, and it might be this way for a long time. LeBron James turned from adored to abhorred overnight, apparently. Not only have James jersey burnings taken place, but LeBron hate merchandise is suddenly all over the internet. Here are some favorites:

LeBron's Big Decision

If you know anything about the NBA, you know that LeBron James has a big decision to make. Lets face it, people are going to be pissed no matter what he decides.

Cleveland? Miami? Oh LeBron, what will it be?

James will announce his decision on where he will sign tomorrow night live on ESPN in a one-hour special beginning at 9 p.m.

Here's what Cav's fans have to say about it:
"It's stuff like this that kind of makes you root for LeBron to never win a
championship. You are not bigger than the game. Just hold a normal
press confrence."

"If he stays, he'll own the city forever. If he goes, he's really a fool.
He has a chance to do something so special in C-town and be enshrined
forever as the greatest athlete ever to play here."

"However this turns out, the backlash against LeBron will be deafening.
If he stays in Cleveland, the rest of America will wonder what the devil
was all this for. If he leaves, Ohioans will feel betrayed. He has now
put himself in a no-win situation. I thought LeBron was smarter than
this."

I hate LeBron. But here's some more big news: He got a twitter account! Follow him @kingjames. His Bio? "King of Akron" GAG.

Not only that, but LeBron James is a trending topic on twitter. Here's a biased sampling for you:

Whitlock2Jason: "Did Jordan ever call himself "Air Jordan" or did he allow us 2 call him Air? LeBron calling himself King James is a joke. We created monster."

uzkhan1: "There are no Cleveland fans, just Lebron James fans. And those fans will hop on any wagon he rides!"

MrMichael_Smith: "If LeBron moves into Wade's house he should no longer be called King James. He should renounce his thrown, like Akeem in the subway in CTA."

Mike Posner: Speed of Sound

Mike Posner's 'Cooler Than Me' is fabulous and doing well on the charts, but I am obsessed with 'Speed of Sound'. This song is basically the story of my life right now.

"My ma keeps telling me
I better stay in school
But when that ends, Lord knows
I don't know what I'm going to do"

I'm graduating in August (JUST over a month away now) and I have no idea what to do. I may have gotten a job, but I don't know (how does that even happen??) and even if I did get it, the pay is crap.

"Cause everytime I blink now
Another day rolls by
It's getting harder not to think about
All the things on my mind"

Too true. The days are going by MUCH too fast. Summer, please slow down and last forever. When you are gone I have nothing. Not even a place to live.

"My friends keep telling me
How much they believe in me
I wish that I saw the things that they see in me"

Friends, keep tellin' me. I need it. Love you.

Mike:

The Lady Gone Gaga

Lady Gaga's choice of outfits seem to indicate that she craves attention. When the singer showed up at the New York Mets game on June 10 wearing just a leather jacket over a bikini, it was just another obnoxious Gaga creation. But when fans and photographers spotted her and attempted to document the Gaga siting to show their friends, she threw a fit, forcing ballpark officials escort her into Jerry Seinfeld's luxury box, where the Gaga gave booing fans the bird. Oddly enough, she told Mets officials she "wanted to go incognito". Maybe that is how Lady Gaga does incognito? Just your basic bra and undies to a baseball game.

Now, we all know that Lady Gaga is serious about her artistic presence. The world has had the opportunity to see her parade around in Alexander McQueen armadillo heels, bejeweled glasses and hair bows made of hair. Plus, she doesn't miss a beat when it comes to shocking the world with her risque videos- Alejandro, anyone? But in the last few weeks, Gaga has missed the memo that there is a difference between performance and reality by drawing more attention to herself with bizarre outbursts we'd never expect from her.

Gaga later continued her attention-seeking tour through NYC, attending a Yankees-Mets game wearing fishnets, a black bra and a pinstriped Yankees jersey. Although she didn't give anyone the middle finger, Page Six reported that she was permanently banned from the team's clubhouse after her boozy antics- swigging Jameson Irish whiskey and repeatedly fondling her chest. Gag.

The Yankees' general manager denied the claims, but a MLB official noted, "Just because someone is a celebrity doesn't mean they get a credential that authorizes them to the clubhouse. I am sure there are exceptions ... She never had permission to enter either clubhouse."

Seinfeld isn't a big Gaga fan either. On WFAN radio Monday night, the comedian called the pop star out for the recent ballpark chaos. "This woman is a jerk. I hate her," he said. "I don't know why she's doing this stuff. I don't know what these young people think or how they promote their careers. I'm not one of these all-publicity-is-good people. People talk about you need exposure -- you could die of exposure."

Then we have Gaga overshadowing her own family by attending her younger sister Natali's graduation ceremony wearing a black, veiled hat and nude bodysuit. Seriously? Can't she give her sister one moment to shine and not be the center of attention? No, I don't think that is possible for this Lady.

"Gaga needs to worry about looking pathetic. People will tolerate rockstar behavior like smashing guitars and destroying hotel rooms, but she shouldn't complain about the attention- that she's desperately seeking," Fuller adds. "She's clearly insecure, but if she continues this behavior, it will be the kiss of death for her career."

Well, I don't think Gaga is going anywhere anytime soon. But I do think her attitude and presence is obnoxious and generally out of line. Even though I feel this way, I listen to Gaga on the daily. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

Happy Father's Day

I am in Spokane this Father's Day because it is also my little brother's mission farewell.

It also just so happens that Father's Day originated in Spokane in 1910. After listening to a church sermon at Spokane's Central Methodist Episcopal Church in 1909 about the newly recognized Mother's Day, Sonora Smart Dodd felt strongly that fatherhood needed recognition, as well.

It took many years to make the holiday official. In spite of support from the YWCA, the YMCA, and churches, Father's Day ran the risk of disappearing from the calendar.Where Mother's Day was met with enthusiasm, Father's Day was often met with laughter. The holiday was gathering attention slowly, but for the wrong reasons. It was the target of much satire, parody and derision, including jokes from the local newspaper Spokesman-Review.

Well, Father's Day isn't a joke.

Happy Father's Day everyone! Show your dad you care!

Shakira's Waka Waka (This Time For Africa): World Cup 2010

This weekend, fun-loving people across America will again temporarily stop not caring about soccer. The 2010 World Cup is has finally arrived! Every 4 years Americans join the rest of the world in their love for the international game.
During the tournament’s television coverage, you will most likely hear, repeatedly, Shakira’s “Waka Waka (This Time for Africa),” the official anthem of the World Cup.



The Columbian born singer is joined in the song by the local Cape Town group Freshlyground. Check them out sans Shakira in "Doo Be Doo"



By the way, apparently the actual meaning of Waka Waka is blaze, burn brightly, burn well, shine in Swahili.

Twitiquette

A good tweet can be challenging, a great tweet is becoming somewhat of a rarity. I think I can be funny via twitter, but too often I give in to my natural tendency to either

A) inform my followers of completely unimportant, non-funny and non-exciting things like the weather. i.e. "The temperature outside is finally bearable" or "Going to hit up the pool! Its finally summer in Provo....for now". This is especially true when many of my followers do not live in Provo, and could care less if its hot there.

B)COMPLAIN. This is one of the worst twitter habits, but is so easy to fall into. Sometimes you just want the world to know how pissed you are. But, they don't actually care. And if they do you should really just call or text them directly. For me, this particular faux pas frequently uses the word "damn". Examples: "damn parkway authority idiots", "I wish I had more things to occupy my time than just homework. Damn." or "JUST realized I forgot my power cord. damndamndamn"

C) Excessive tweeting about the Celtics. (or anything that is a personal passion, emphasis on personal). Although some of my followers do like the Celtics, they probably are the same ones who follow the NBA on twitter and therefore don't need my often too frequent updates. I won't even provide an example for this one, there are simply too many.

Beef I have about YOUR tweets:

1. Infrequent tweets: J.K. Rowling, you are the worst tweeter ever. Why even bother?? @jk_rowling

2. Twitter updates about people, places or things that no one else knows or cares about. Almost always done from a cell phone text-messaging system.

Give a little context to your tweets. Twitter isn't the place for inside jokes. I am guilty of lacking context on occasion, and I think this rule can be broken if it is still funny, or enough of your followers are in on it.
Still okay: "Italy is roughly the size of Arizona" (Maybe not that funny, but they get it).
Should've just sent a text: "Funniest sun bathing experience of my life. I can't even explain via twitter." Then why in the hell did I send a tweet?? Go figure.

3. Extreme Retweeting

Retweet with caution. Its kind of like quoting in research papers. Only retweet when you can't say it any better. Because obviously I don't condone plagarism.
Weird/Unneccessary retweets: "@hunterschwarz you're so clever" Really? You had to retweet this? You couldn't just tell him yourself, or just think it inside your head?

Now that we are all aware of what I do and don't want to see on twitter, I hope we can all be a little more interesting and worthy of our followers.

Follow me @_khansen

Want to Hike the Alps Naked? Okay, That's Fine.

A Swiss man saw his $87 fine lifted after he was "caught" hiking naked last week. The Swiss courts respected his rights, and it has brought out naked hikers from around the world. Who knew this was an international hobby?

The decision was hailed by supporters as a "victory of freedom." It has also sparked local debate on crisscrossing mountain paths in the nude, putting naked hikers in the spotlight as they enthusiastically fight for the cause.

"This court decision is showing that penal law is not a moral codex, and there's no way to punish nakedness in itself, unless it becomes sexual harassment," a Zurich, Switzerland, architect and naked hiker who represented the defendant explained to AOL News. The architect asked not to be identified, citing privacy reasons.

The Appenzell court ruled that the charge of indecent behavior did not apply in the case of the fined hiker. He was reported to authorities by a woman after walking past a communal barbecue area.

"Sometimes, police think that hiking, jogging or biking in the nude is something that goes under that [law] paragraph, and they fine people. The interpretation of the law is open-ended," Kettiger told AOL News. "If someone is nude walking in public, or sunbathing or having a picnic in the grass, that is not forbidden. If he is exposing himself, with a sexual connotation and offending common sense, that is forbidden."

Naked hikers, who are estimated to number a few dozen in Switzerland, say they enjoy the feeling of oneness with nature and the freedom to give up clothes.

Arguments against naked hiking range from concerns that nudity could be offensive for some to more down-to-earth problems, such as the risk of sunburn or catching tick-borne diseases. Some argue that restricted areas, as with nudist beaches around the world, could be organized for hikers.

However, the architect who represented the defendant said the point is not to be surrounded by fellow naked people. They don't want to be restricted to certain areas, either.

Don't Be This Girl

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment." -Jane Austen, from Pride and Prejudice

Have you ever heard one of your female friends say the following? More importantly, have YOU ever said any of them?

1. "I just met my future husband."
2. "I knew he was The One the moment I saw him!"
3. "I'm the girl for him, he just doesn't know it yet." (My personal least favorite).
4. "I know we barely know each other, but its meant to be."

Don't be this girl.

Celtics vs. Lakers: A History

The 2010 NBA playoffs have had far too many sweeps. There really hasn't been enough close games for the fans to enjoy. We can only hope that the Celtics-Lakers rivalry brings out a full blown, 7 game final series match-up. Now, it isn't official, but lets be honest. Does anyone outside of Arizona think the Suns could take the series? No. And we all know that even though the Celts may have lost this evening in OT, they are going to take the Eastern Conference Championship. So, with that approach...

The Celtics (with 17) and Lakers (with 15) have won more than half of all NBA championships. When the Finals are over this year, the Celts and the Lakers will have combined to have won 52 percent (33 of 64) of all NBA titles. They have played against each other in the finals 11 times with Boston winning nine, most recently in 2008.

The rivalry has spanned generations.

The Lakers were still playing in the land of 10,000 lakes (hence the name) when the Red Auerbach/Bill Russell Celtics first met them in the Finals. It was a four-game sweep for Boston at the old Boston Garden. It was the first of seven meetings involving Russell and the Lakers and the Celtics won it every time.

It was 1962 when the Lakers met the Celtics for the second time, this time in Los Angeles. The Lakers pushed Boston to a seventh game and L.A. had a chance to win it, but Frank Selvy took a buzzer-beater that somehow got the win and the Celtics, of course, won the series in overtime.

From 1959-66 the Celtics won eight consecutive championships and four times they beat the Lakers in the Finals.

L.A. grew more frustrated toward the end of the 1960s. The Celtics looked old and vulnerable (hmmm... sound familiar?) in 1968, but still managed to beat L.A. in six games.

The 1969 Lakers had West, Baylor and Wilt Chamberlain. They went 8-1 in their first two playoff series. The Celtics were a 48-34 team with six players over 30 (same as this year). Los Angeles won the first two games of the series. At that time, no team in NBA history had lost a Finals series after winning the first two games.

Boston battled back and before Game 7, Lakers owner Jack Kent Cooke lined the Forum ceiling with balloons and even had hired the USC marching band to play "Happy Days Are Here Again" when the Lakers won.

But the Lakers lost. Again. Chamberlain took himself out of the game in the fourth quarter and never returned. Russell won his 11th championship in 13 seasons, his seventh against the Lakers.

The rivals did not meet again until Larry Bird and Magic Johnson revived the NBA in the 1980s. In 1984, the Celtics and Lakers played for the first time since the 1969 Russell-Chamberlain finale and produced one of the greatest series in NBA history. Unfortunately for folks in L.A., the Lakers lost again (starting to see a trend?).



One year later there was redemption for Magic, Worthy and coach Pat Riley. After losing eight consecutive Finals to the hated Celtics, the Lakers won the championship in the old Boston Garden in six games. It remains the career highlight for Riley, Magic and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

Boston and L.A. met three times in four years with the Lakers winning the series in six games in 1987.

That was it for the Celtics. They didn't get back to the Finals until 2008 and then the rivalry was renewed- they returned to the championship round to play the Lakers. Once again, the Lakers were favored by just about everyone. And just like in the old days, the Celtics won it all. Paul Pierce outplayed Kobe Bryant and Boston won it in six games. The Lakers were a disgrace at the finish. Boston ran to a 43-point lead, winning the finale, 131-92. It was embarrassing for Kobe and Pau Gasol.



The defending champions, the Lakers, are still angry about their “six-game sweep” from two years ago. The Celtics would love to prove to the world—and especially to the Lakers—that had they been at full-strength last season, they’d be shooting for a third straight title right now.

There are 10 Lakers on the current roster who were on the team that lost by 39 points in the deciding Game Six two years ago. They want it bad.

Eight Celtics still remain from their title team—including all five starters. They need to prove themselves.

Now the Lakers are back and they'll have home court advantage. L.A. is feeling good about its chances.

But have you seen a trend? The Celtics will likely find a way to win this one, too.

YouTube turns 5!

There are 2, maybe 3 videos of myself on the site, out of a staggering 120 million total.

There are about 200,000 new videos uploaded everyday.

It would take you over 600 years to watch all of the videos.

Over 12% of the videos violate copyright laws.

5 of my personal favorite youtube videos:
1. Twilight Trailer Spoof from Hummpy


2. Nut Shot (not actually a favorite at all, but this is my brother, getting hit in the nuts with a drumstick. Only in the days of youtube could I share this with the blogging world.


3. Miley Cyrus Virus Rap


4. Potter Puppet Pals: The Mysterious Ticking Noise


5. Charlie bit my finger (an obvious classic)

Don't Doubt The Celtics

"We didn't say we wanted to come into this season and beat the Cleveland Cavaliers in the playoffs. Our goal has been the championship."
- Paul Pierce


Two years ago the Boston Celtics won the NBA championship for the first time since the days of Bird, McHale, and Parish. Because of the old age of the new Big Three, Garnett and thirtysomething partners Paul Pierce and Ray Allen (elderly for the NBA), many people assumed this was a "one more time" thing. But here the Celts are again, one series victory in the Eastern Conference finals from another trip to the league finals, helped along by the new talent found in Rajon Rondo, the renewed health of Garnett and a dominating defensive team beat "King" LeBron James. America, don't doubt the Celtics.

"I know it sounds crazy, but I thought we were phenomenal in training camp. I thought we looked better in training camp than we did two years ago, quite honestly," Rivers said. "As a team, I thought we were close, we started out great, and then we fell apart with injuries and all kinds of other issues. But you could see that everybody wanted to get back. It was tough the last three weeks of the season because we had to make a choice. But it was the only bet. That was the only way we're going to be able to try to win this -- by guys being healthy."

Now, the Celtics are performing like a team that could win its second trophy in three seasons!

"I'm really not that proud of this, truthfully, because our goal was to win a championship," Pierce said of eliminating James and the Cavaliers. "We didn't say we wanted to come into this season and beat the Cleveland Cavaliers in the playoffs. Our goal has been the championship. We can be excited for one night, winning a game, winning a series, but I don't look at it like this made our season. The only thing that's going to make our season, to be honest, is winning a championship".

"The big thing with Doc, he just kept faith," Kendrick Perkins said. "I know we ended the regular season on a bad note, but at the end of the day it starts over in the playoffs. We came together at the right time in the playoffs. All it takes is a couple of games to get your stride back, and guys were locked in."

Go Celtics!

Watch Your Tweets

While attempting to convince a few friends to sign up for a Twitter account, one friend declined saying "If I get a Twitter it will just be one more thing people can hold against me when I run for office." We all laughed, but she definitely has a point. Our future leaders will probably have embarrassing MySpace, Facebook or Twitter posts that will come back to haunt them when they decide to make something of their lives.

In addition, the following story explains why you should be careful what you say on the Internet, unless you want to find yourself with a criminal record and a bill for $1,500. That's the lesson a British man may be learning today after a court found him guilty of "sending a threatening message".

According to The Register, Paul Chambers posted a message on Twitter last January, when the airport he was set to fly out of the next week closed due to weather, threatening to blow it "sky high".

The Tweet: "Crap! Robin Hood Airport is closed. You've got a week and a bit to get your shit together otherwise I'm blowing the airport sky high!"

Although the tweet was never taken as a credible threat, according to a manager at the airport who found the tweet and testified at the trial, Chambers was prosecuted and today was found guilty.

The Telegraph reports that a district judge ruled that the tweet was "of a menacing nature in the context of the times in which we live". The Telegraph writes that "district judge Jonathan Bennett found Chambers guilty of sending a message by means of a public electronic message that was grossly offensive or of an indecent, obscene or menacing character contrary to the Communications Act 2003."

Chambers not only has to pay nearly $1,500 in fines but lost his job as an accountant trainee due to the prosecution. Chambers has been tweeting about the situation all day today, responding to questions and other tweets. In one tweet, he says that he is "Currently considering an appeal. Half of me just wants it to be over, the other half is indignant."

While Chambers called the tweet "innocuous hyperbole", we have to wonder how he hopes to argue his case. Even in the U.S. under the First Ammendment, incitement to violence is not protected. At the same time, if someone says aloud, in anger, "I'm so mad, I could kill..." or something according to those lines, should they be prosecuted for making death threats? How about if they tweet it? Is it a matter of how public or permanent the statement is?

Ridiculous Rap Lyrics

I secretly (or not so secretly) want to be a rapper. I already have 2 potential names: K-Phizz or K-Frenzy. Rappers can say completely ridiculous things and get away with it. MOST ridiculous in my opinion?

1. "Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock" -Young Money/Lil' Wayne, Bedrock

2. "How it feel to wake up and be the shit and the urine?" -Kanye West, Swagga Like Us

3. "Call me George Foreman cuz I'm selling everybody grillz" -Nelly, Grillz

4. "Baby, you're looking fine, I'll have you open all night like an Ihop" -Timbaland/JT, Carry Out

5. "My name ain't Bic, but I keep that flame" -Lil' Wayne, A Milli

6. "Take it off, let it flop, shake it freely" -Bubba Sparxxx, Ms. New Booty

7. "I'm Santa Claus, didn't you hear? Tell Johnny Saint Dick what you want this year" -Ying Yang Twins, Drop

8. "Jesus Christ had dreads, so shake em. I ain't got none, but I'm planning on growing some" -E-40, Tell Me When To Go

9. "Got a Bill in my mouth like I'm Hilary Rodham" -Grillz, Nelly

10. "She walkin' around lookin' like Michael with ya money. Shoulda' got that insured, GEICO for ya money" -Kanye West, Gold Digger.