Best & Worst of BYU

If you are my friend and/or twitter follower, you know I am graduating later this week! BYU has been great, but I'm definitely excited to leave. Here is my top 5 best and worst things about Cougar Town. I'll start with the worst so we can end on a good note.

WORST:

5. Waiting for HOURS to register for classes.
I have literally spend probably 30-40 hours of my life registering for classes. These hours have been between midnight and 4am. Not fun, not easy and not quick. One of the worst things about BYU.

4. The Honor Code.

This makes my best AND worst list, which I know is a cliche thing to do on such lists. But really. I hate that boys have to leave my apartment at midnight, and can't come in my room even when my roommate is making out on the couch, and how men can't have facial hair. The facial hair thing ALMOST made its own number on this list. Its just stupid.

3. Pregnant Ladies.
I love babies, and pregnant ladies. Please don't get me wrong. But when I have to be partners with these ladies in classes and then they suddenly have their kid and they can't help with the project anymore, I get pissed. To make matters worse, the teachers are understanding! They are happy to pass along the pregnant ladies work to ME. Its happened more than once. If you get pregnant, you should quit school while you give birth.

2. Massive amounts of un(or mis)informed Republicans.
I don't know what I am. I voted for Obama, sure. But that's only because he's hot (just kidding). And I also know I hate Sarah Palin. I do not claim to know everything about politics, but one of the worst things at BYU is when people act like they do when all they know is that the Mormon thing to do is love Mitt Romney. This Republican mentality also leads to obnoxious, ignorant comments in classes (think immigration, welfare, and Obama's smoking habits).

1. Cleaning Checks.
Alright, it might be pathetic that this my number one. I agree. But cleaning checks really have been the death of me for the past 4 years. I am messy, but I like to believe I am not DIRTY (there is a big difference). However, I have had some nasty trash leave-used-q-tips-on-the-living-room-table roommates. And then I am asked to clean their nasty trash. I do not like that at all, thank you very much.

BEST:
5. The Honor Code.
Here it is again! I love the part of the Honor Code where I don't live with boys and my roommates don't drink or smoke or have sex (and if they do they are forced to hide it from me). That part is so fab. I truly believe that has enhanced my educational experience and I have managed to have some really great times and memories while mostly abiding by the Honor Code.

4. Being in Utah.
Yes, that is a best. I have to admit that Utah is gorgeous. And I also have to admit that it is thanks in large part to my new friend James that I now know this. Of course I had seen some things, but my scope was limited. Utah has a lot to offer nature wise, but another one of my favorite things is that it has an NBA team! An NBA team that isn't all that bad, either. For those of you who may enjoy skiing/snowboarding, we have that too. (I personally just enjoy Park City for the Sundance Film Festival and the shopping!)

campinggggg and Jazz v. Blazers

3. Cheap Tuition.
Amen. Less than $5,000 a year. I don't have debt, and that's all I have to say about that.

2. Proximity to Las Vegas.
I've taken 6trips to Vegas over 4 years (My parents may or may not know about all of these). Its a 6 hour drive, which is kind of long but really not too bad. And its VEGAS. Its always been fun. Its not always been problem-free, but I have very fond memories of all 6 trips and have left you photographic evidence.

Trip #1: February '07
We went to Elton John's concert, and blow-up boobs came down from the ceiling. Hollerrrr

Trip #2: November '07
We were obsessed with letter dancers. Don't forget our friend Dave came with us, but refused to dance in a letter.

Trip #3: April '08
Hotel Party! What up?

Trip #4 February '09
Preachers passed out big billz

Trip #5: January '10
Finally found the Vegas sign :)

Trip #6: July '10
The best we ever looked...

1. THE DORMS.
Anyone who didn't live in the dorms is seriously missing out, and I laugh when people actually think they were better off living off-campus. So foolish. I lived in the dorms my freshman year (DT- U Hall) AND I was an RA my senior year at Helaman Halls (Chipman Hall). Both experiences were really great, and have left me with lifelong friends. If you don't understand what the dorms are like, I'll try to help you out with my pictures, but your life will always be lacking. :)

This picture is from my very first event ever at BYU, Freshman Orientation. You will notice 3 of my best friends in the world are also in the picture. (Angela, Shannon & Jenny). We met after 3 days at BYU and have been friends ever since, and we all lived on the same floor in the dorms. It was an obvious blessing from God and obviously my #1 BEST at BYU.

My freshman roomie, Jess Gamez. Another BFFL. I know you hate this picture Jessy,
but I so love you and this has the DT windows behind us!

All my best friends from the dorms at the SLC temple.

Kanye's 'Chosen One'

Kanye West, who joined Twitter last week and already has 190 tweets and over 400,000 followers, chose to follow one lucky individual, 19-year-old Steve Holmes (@ste_101) of Coventry, England. "I just commented on something on Kanye West's account and next thing I know he's following me," Holmes told the Coventry Telegraph. "I was like, 'Oh my God!' But about 20 seconds later I had 20 messages from people I didn't even know and my phone wouldn't stop bleeping."

Steve's had 60 followers, but an hour after being 'chosen' by Kanye he had more than 1,000. Now, he has nearly 5,000. But it's been strange, he says.

"A guy wanted me to look at his film trailer and people have been sending me links to their music demos -- as if I have some sort of influence over Kanye West. The funny thing is I like his music but I'm not his biggest fan," Steve said.

Kanye kicked off Steve's 15 minutes of fame with the words: "You are the chosen one dun dun dun dun."

Kanye is weird. I personally couldn't handle following him on Twitter for more than a day before I gave up. Not only does he over-tweet, he often doesn't make sense.

If you aren't familiar with Kanye's launch into the Twittiverse, check out a recap here

New Life Motto

"It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection."

-Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

1 Woman, 2 Uteruses, 2 Babies, 2 Due Dates

Our fellow Utahn, Angie Cromar from Murray, who has TWO uteruses discovered that she is pregnant with TWO babies that have TWO different due dates. The condition is called a double pregnancy and is very rare. According to science, there have been less than 100 double pregnancies that have occurred in the world.

Cromar said that her first ultrasound ended in a huge surprise for both her and her doctor. Her doctor said that the babies have two separate due days which are about a week apart.

"I'm five weeks and four days in one, and six weeks and one day in the other," stated Cromar.

So how does one come to be pregnant in both of their uteruses?

Facebook Movie: The Social Network

“The Social Network,” directed by David Fincher, is a dramatic and comedic take on the founding of Facebook, starring Jesse Eisenberg as CEO Mark Zuckerberg and Andrew Garfield as Eduardo Saverin, who clashed with Zuckerberg after co-founding the company. Singer Justin Timberlake plays Napster founder Sean Parker, who became president of Facebook.

In theaters October 1, 2010.

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'People of Walmart' in Book Form

The People of Walmart is a photo collage of America at its most overweight, spandexed and ill-dressed while shopping at the mega retailer.

While the People of Walmart site does welcome photo submissions, it is clear in stating that those hopeful of having their photos accepted must "have secured all rights from all other persons who appear in the Submission." Another requirement is that any photo submissions cannot be "defamatory, libelous, abusive, threatening, racist, sexist, homophobic, vulgar, obscene, pornographic, offensive, indecent, or otherwise objectionable."

I think it is pretty safe to assume that for the vast majority of the photos, 1) the "model" has no idea their picture is being taken and 2) they ARE sexist, vulgar, distasteful, indecent, etc.

However, when you visit a WalMart or go online and access "People of WalMart," try to see it as a journey in amusement. The guy or gal with the beer-belly showing beneath the too-small t-shirt, sporting the plaid Bermuda shorts and the "My Other Baseball Cap Says "Rolls Royce" On It" cap, probably meant to dress that way when they left their house.

If you ever need to take the edge off your personal feelings of inferiority, the book form of the People of Walmart is sure to do the trick. The book comes out in September and promises "never before seen photos".

Follow Up: Anti-LeBron T-Shirts Suddenly Quite Popular

The Miami Heat has become the most hated team in America, and it might be this way for a long time. LeBron James turned from adored to abhorred overnight, apparently. Not only have James jersey burnings taken place, but LeBron hate merchandise is suddenly all over the internet. Here are some favorites:

LeBron's Big Decision

If you know anything about the NBA, you know that LeBron James has a big decision to make. Lets face it, people are going to be pissed no matter what he decides.

Cleveland? Miami? Oh LeBron, what will it be?

James will announce his decision on where he will sign tomorrow night live on ESPN in a one-hour special beginning at 9 p.m.

Here's what Cav's fans have to say about it:
"It's stuff like this that kind of makes you root for LeBron to never win a
championship. You are not bigger than the game. Just hold a normal
press confrence."

"If he stays, he'll own the city forever. If he goes, he's really a fool.
He has a chance to do something so special in C-town and be enshrined
forever as the greatest athlete ever to play here."

"However this turns out, the backlash against LeBron will be deafening.
If he stays in Cleveland, the rest of America will wonder what the devil
was all this for. If he leaves, Ohioans will feel betrayed. He has now
put himself in a no-win situation. I thought LeBron was smarter than
this."

I hate LeBron. But here's some more big news: He got a twitter account! Follow him @kingjames. His Bio? "King of Akron" GAG.

Not only that, but LeBron James is a trending topic on twitter. Here's a biased sampling for you:

Whitlock2Jason: "Did Jordan ever call himself "Air Jordan" or did he allow us 2 call him Air? LeBron calling himself King James is a joke. We created monster."

uzkhan1: "There are no Cleveland fans, just Lebron James fans. And those fans will hop on any wagon he rides!"

MrMichael_Smith: "If LeBron moves into Wade's house he should no longer be called King James. He should renounce his thrown, like Akeem in the subway in CTA."

Mike Posner: Speed of Sound

Mike Posner's 'Cooler Than Me' is fabulous and doing well on the charts, but I am obsessed with 'Speed of Sound'. This song is basically the story of my life right now.

"My ma keeps telling me
I better stay in school
But when that ends, Lord knows
I don't know what I'm going to do"

I'm graduating in August (JUST over a month away now) and I have no idea what to do. I may have gotten a job, but I don't know (how does that even happen??) and even if I did get it, the pay is crap.

"Cause everytime I blink now
Another day rolls by
It's getting harder not to think about
All the things on my mind"

Too true. The days are going by MUCH too fast. Summer, please slow down and last forever. When you are gone I have nothing. Not even a place to live.

"My friends keep telling me
How much they believe in me
I wish that I saw the things that they see in me"

Friends, keep tellin' me. I need it. Love you.

Mike:

The Lady Gone Gaga

Lady Gaga's choice of outfits seem to indicate that she craves attention. When the singer showed up at the New York Mets game on June 10 wearing just a leather jacket over a bikini, it was just another obnoxious Gaga creation. But when fans and photographers spotted her and attempted to document the Gaga siting to show their friends, she threw a fit, forcing ballpark officials escort her into Jerry Seinfeld's luxury box, where the Gaga gave booing fans the bird. Oddly enough, she told Mets officials she "wanted to go incognito". Maybe that is how Lady Gaga does incognito? Just your basic bra and undies to a baseball game.

Now, we all know that Lady Gaga is serious about her artistic presence. The world has had the opportunity to see her parade around in Alexander McQueen armadillo heels, bejeweled glasses and hair bows made of hair. Plus, she doesn't miss a beat when it comes to shocking the world with her risque videos- Alejandro, anyone? But in the last few weeks, Gaga has missed the memo that there is a difference between performance and reality by drawing more attention to herself with bizarre outbursts we'd never expect from her.

Gaga later continued her attention-seeking tour through NYC, attending a Yankees-Mets game wearing fishnets, a black bra and a pinstriped Yankees jersey. Although she didn't give anyone the middle finger, Page Six reported that she was permanently banned from the team's clubhouse after her boozy antics- swigging Jameson Irish whiskey and repeatedly fondling her chest. Gag.

The Yankees' general manager denied the claims, but a MLB official noted, "Just because someone is a celebrity doesn't mean they get a credential that authorizes them to the clubhouse. I am sure there are exceptions ... She never had permission to enter either clubhouse."

Seinfeld isn't a big Gaga fan either. On WFAN radio Monday night, the comedian called the pop star out for the recent ballpark chaos. "This woman is a jerk. I hate her," he said. "I don't know why she's doing this stuff. I don't know what these young people think or how they promote their careers. I'm not one of these all-publicity-is-good people. People talk about you need exposure -- you could die of exposure."

Then we have Gaga overshadowing her own family by attending her younger sister Natali's graduation ceremony wearing a black, veiled hat and nude bodysuit. Seriously? Can't she give her sister one moment to shine and not be the center of attention? No, I don't think that is possible for this Lady.

"Gaga needs to worry about looking pathetic. People will tolerate rockstar behavior like smashing guitars and destroying hotel rooms, but she shouldn't complain about the attention- that she's desperately seeking," Fuller adds. "She's clearly insecure, but if she continues this behavior, it will be the kiss of death for her career."

Well, I don't think Gaga is going anywhere anytime soon. But I do think her attitude and presence is obnoxious and generally out of line. Even though I feel this way, I listen to Gaga on the daily. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

Happy Father's Day

I am in Spokane this Father's Day because it is also my little brother's mission farewell.

It also just so happens that Father's Day originated in Spokane in 1910. After listening to a church sermon at Spokane's Central Methodist Episcopal Church in 1909 about the newly recognized Mother's Day, Sonora Smart Dodd felt strongly that fatherhood needed recognition, as well.

It took many years to make the holiday official. In spite of support from the YWCA, the YMCA, and churches, Father's Day ran the risk of disappearing from the calendar.Where Mother's Day was met with enthusiasm, Father's Day was often met with laughter. The holiday was gathering attention slowly, but for the wrong reasons. It was the target of much satire, parody and derision, including jokes from the local newspaper Spokesman-Review.

Well, Father's Day isn't a joke.

Happy Father's Day everyone! Show your dad you care!

Shakira's Waka Waka (This Time For Africa): World Cup 2010

This weekend, fun-loving people across America will again temporarily stop not caring about soccer. The 2010 World Cup is has finally arrived! Every 4 years Americans join the rest of the world in their love for the international game.
During the tournament’s television coverage, you will most likely hear, repeatedly, Shakira’s “Waka Waka (This Time for Africa),” the official anthem of the World Cup.



The Columbian born singer is joined in the song by the local Cape Town group Freshlyground. Check them out sans Shakira in "Doo Be Doo"



By the way, apparently the actual meaning of Waka Waka is blaze, burn brightly, burn well, shine in Swahili.

Twitiquette

A good tweet can be challenging, a great tweet is becoming somewhat of a rarity. I think I can be funny via twitter, but too often I give in to my natural tendency to either

A) inform my followers of completely unimportant, non-funny and non-exciting things like the weather. i.e. "The temperature outside is finally bearable" or "Going to hit up the pool! Its finally summer in Provo....for now". This is especially true when many of my followers do not live in Provo, and could care less if its hot there.

B)COMPLAIN. This is one of the worst twitter habits, but is so easy to fall into. Sometimes you just want the world to know how pissed you are. But, they don't actually care. And if they do you should really just call or text them directly. For me, this particular faux pas frequently uses the word "damn". Examples: "damn parkway authority idiots", "I wish I had more things to occupy my time than just homework. Damn." or "JUST realized I forgot my power cord. damndamndamn"

C) Excessive tweeting about the Celtics. (or anything that is a personal passion, emphasis on personal). Although some of my followers do like the Celtics, they probably are the same ones who follow the NBA on twitter and therefore don't need my often too frequent updates. I won't even provide an example for this one, there are simply too many.

Beef I have about YOUR tweets:

1. Infrequent tweets: J.K. Rowling, you are the worst tweeter ever. Why even bother?? @jk_rowling

2. Twitter updates about people, places or things that no one else knows or cares about. Almost always done from a cell phone text-messaging system.

Give a little context to your tweets. Twitter isn't the place for inside jokes. I am guilty of lacking context on occasion, and I think this rule can be broken if it is still funny, or enough of your followers are in on it.
Still okay: "Italy is roughly the size of Arizona" (Maybe not that funny, but they get it).
Should've just sent a text: "Funniest sun bathing experience of my life. I can't even explain via twitter." Then why in the hell did I send a tweet?? Go figure.

3. Extreme Retweeting

Retweet with caution. Its kind of like quoting in research papers. Only retweet when you can't say it any better. Because obviously I don't condone plagarism.
Weird/Unneccessary retweets: "@hunterschwarz you're so clever" Really? You had to retweet this? You couldn't just tell him yourself, or just think it inside your head?

Now that we are all aware of what I do and don't want to see on twitter, I hope we can all be a little more interesting and worthy of our followers.

Follow me @_khansen

Want to Hike the Alps Naked? Okay, That's Fine.

A Swiss man saw his $87 fine lifted after he was "caught" hiking naked last week. The Swiss courts respected his rights, and it has brought out naked hikers from around the world. Who knew this was an international hobby?

The decision was hailed by supporters as a "victory of freedom." It has also sparked local debate on crisscrossing mountain paths in the nude, putting naked hikers in the spotlight as they enthusiastically fight for the cause.

"This court decision is showing that penal law is not a moral codex, and there's no way to punish nakedness in itself, unless it becomes sexual harassment," a Zurich, Switzerland, architect and naked hiker who represented the defendant explained to AOL News. The architect asked not to be identified, citing privacy reasons.

The Appenzell court ruled that the charge of indecent behavior did not apply in the case of the fined hiker. He was reported to authorities by a woman after walking past a communal barbecue area.

"Sometimes, police think that hiking, jogging or biking in the nude is something that goes under that [law] paragraph, and they fine people. The interpretation of the law is open-ended," Kettiger told AOL News. "If someone is nude walking in public, or sunbathing or having a picnic in the grass, that is not forbidden. If he is exposing himself, with a sexual connotation and offending common sense, that is forbidden."

Naked hikers, who are estimated to number a few dozen in Switzerland, say they enjoy the feeling of oneness with nature and the freedom to give up clothes.

Arguments against naked hiking range from concerns that nudity could be offensive for some to more down-to-earth problems, such as the risk of sunburn or catching tick-borne diseases. Some argue that restricted areas, as with nudist beaches around the world, could be organized for hikers.

However, the architect who represented the defendant said the point is not to be surrounded by fellow naked people. They don't want to be restricted to certain areas, either.

Don't Be This Girl

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment." -Jane Austen, from Pride and Prejudice

Have you ever heard one of your female friends say the following? More importantly, have YOU ever said any of them?

1. "I just met my future husband."
2. "I knew he was The One the moment I saw him!"
3. "I'm the girl for him, he just doesn't know it yet." (My personal least favorite).
4. "I know we barely know each other, but its meant to be."

Don't be this girl.