Monday, September 20, 2010

A Child is a Curly Dimpled Lunatic. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm working at an elementary school in a 2nd grade classroom. Its a pseudo grown-up job because I'm not a real teacher and I am sans license, but I get to dress nicely and wear a nametag that says Ms. Hansen. But mostly it is hilarious. The kids are so weird. Sometimes I get blown away by the fact that these humans that I can have full on conversations with were born in 2003, meaning the weren't even alive for September 11th. That was an interesting experience watching the teacher try to explain that to them.

But all of this is beside the point. What I really wanted to document was the weird/funny/at times inappropriate things these kids say to me. Here is what I can remember:

  • "I counted 14 Japanese girls at this school and I'm taking one out per day!" -little white 2nd grade boy
  • "My Dad likes pink. He even WEARS pink." -cute 7 year old girl. "WHAT? Is your Dad even a boy?" -cute 7 year old boy.
  • "I think I am going to puke at any second." -1st grader. "Why?" -Me. "Because my dad is marrying a skank this Saturday and she is in the lunch room right now!"
  • "My ketchup is coming out brown with chunks." -funny boy. (He eats it anyway!)
  • "What is your name again? You've been gone so long." -2nd grader in my class, to me, after I was in Denver for 2 days.
  • While I was administering a reading test, in which the 2nd graders had to use the word I gave them in a sentence. The word was 'feeding' and one of the girls responses was: "I see my Mom feeding my brother with her nipple. Not a bottle."

Friday, September 17, 2010

Cowy's Beginnings

I haven't for sure decided what to do about Cowy. But I know he'll be back. For now, I will show you where Cowy came from. It all started in 7th grade at an Ice Cream shop in Park City, UT. Its called Cows. I bought a shirt from said shop that had an adorable cow with a lightning bolt scar and it read "Cowy Potter & the Goblet of Milk". My camera is dead or I would upload away. For now, you can get the idea from this shirt, also from Cows:
Cowy Potter is more or less lame than Dairy Potter?
So, thats just how it was. How I came to love Cowy Potter. I thought it was so hilarious as an 11 year old, and it became my email address and eventually this blog title. Cowy first began as a media blog, and I thought this title was fitting because Harry Potter directly or indirectly influences 80% of my life decisions. Now its kind of embarrassing, but it is what it is.