Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Smells Like Team Spirit

I have had the privelege of going to several Utah Jazz games in the past couple of months. I love seeing the game live- even if it is from the nosebleeds. The main reason is the rowdy fans. Even in Utah, fans are often obnoxious drunks who yell out things pertaining to the game that they don't fully understand.

Personally, I am a Celtics fan. Huge fan. Born and raised. No, I am not from Boston. So, what do I say when people ask me why I love them so much? And, NO, I am not a bandwagon follower after they won the championship. I had been wearing kelly green long before Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen graced us with their skills. It is pretty hard to explain why I feel a strong loyalty to the Celtics, but I do know that I love it. It makes it so much more fun when you have a team to cheer for, when you feel like you know the players personally because you watch them so much. One of the closest moments with my family was during the 2008 playoffs, resulting in the 17th NBA Championship for the Boston Celtics!

That is the major trump card that Celtics fans always, always love to use. Especially against the Jazz, whom the Celtics have lost to in Utah almost every time. Yes, I was at those games, and yes, my mother does trash talk and says to Jazz fans "Who has 17 championship banners and who has NONE?" (the Jazz, obviously). So, this isn't just a season to season loyalty. We are loyal to the franchise. We have to be. My family owns so many green things that we would have to buy all new decorations for our homes and all new wardrobes if we decided we didn't like the Celts anymore.

So, its a weird thing, team spirit. Its also a weird thing how when the Jazz beat my team I suddenly want them to lose every game to every opponent (except the LAKERS!!) every time. I'll be talking trash until we get an 18th ring.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

You Google Your Name and You See...

Our online repuations are so important these days. Most of us have "googled" ourselves at one time or another, just to see how we are portrayed to the internet world. But what happens when our reputations are tarnished by occasionally untrue gossip or innappropriate photos? Many celebs have found themselves victims to past mistakes showing up online years later.
It is important to get rid of that stuff- because it's entirely likely that your future employers and boyfriends will Google you. And who wants to hire or date an internet hussy? Nobody.

What is the solution to fixing your online reputation?
1. Sign up for Google Alerts: Any time someone spreads rumors about you, you will be notified.

2. Start a blog called this will pop up first in a Google Search. Make sure to update with interesting content so they will get caught up in reading it.

3. Sign up for every social networking site possible.
Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Flickr, MySpace... etc. The more accounts you have, the more of that first page they'll take up and then that picture of you making out with a Johnny Depp cutout will get bumped to the second page.

Never do this, or it will end up online:
1. Make your eyes look Chinese, like Miley Cyrus did, or take pictures of yourself in a bra like Miley did, or pose inappropriately with your dad, like Miley did.
2. Grab a cardboard cutout of Hillary Clinton's boob, like Barack Obama's head speechwriter did.
3. Tell racist jokes at a comedy club, like Kramer did.
4. Scream profanities at an inferior, like Christian Bale did.
5. Call your daughter "a little pig" in a voicemail, like Alec Baldwin did.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Top 20 Most Annoying Status Updates Ever

I may be guilty of a number of these, so I am passing no judgment on any of my facebook friends. But really:

1. "Friday can't come fast enough!" "Can't wait for the weekend" "Longest week everrrr"

2. Solicitations for money for charities

3. Health updates- TMI! For your immediate family that are concerned for you, CALL THEM or at least send a private message.

4. Politics.

5. SUPER long status updates- please no longer than 2 lines. We get bored.

6. "Just got back from the gym!" "LOVES spin class" "Went to the gym for the 28th day in a row!"

7. "Bored at work- someone come visit me"

8. Children's sleeping habits.

9. Wedding planning updates, or "48 days until the big day!"

10. Counting down to some event that no one else is going to. Especially when you don't say what it is. "7 days until the best day ever!"

11. Spoiling a TV show. Some of us watch it on hulu later. Try to remember that.

12. Depression. "Just can't do it another day" (Disclaimer: If you really are clinically depressed, please get some help! We care!)

13. Nonsensical quotes.

14. Passive-aggressive statuses meant to make your ex feel bad.

15. "So tired from my trip to Spain" "So tired from working and homework and class. ugh" "SO TIRED!" "So tired from my crazy weekend"

16. Alcoholic's complaints about yet another hangover

17. Overuse of obscure song lyrics.

18. Pleas for fb friends to come to your show.

19. Repeated statuses about love.

20. "is in class" Well, that's nice that you want the world to know how much you AREN'T paying attention.

Karaoke for Dummies

Karaoke Night at Applebee's is out of control. I have gone a few times, but only for the half off appetizers and the entertainment. I have never sung anything. Most people are awful, and when giant groups of girls get up together I mostly want to kill myself.

If you must sing karaoke (hey, someone's gotta do it!) here are some suggestions to please the crowd and make the experience as pain-free as possible:

1. Current Hits
If you have a terrible voice but love to sing, this is probably your best bet. Choose a Top 40 song, and that way at least a few other people in the crowd will sing along with you. They will not be able to resist it, since they know all of the words from hearing it on the radio at work everyday for a month. Example: Black Eyed Peas or Rhianna.

2. Power Ballads
If you have a decent voice, try a classic power ballad. They are always a crowd favorite. Example: "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera

3. Oldies but Goodies
People will be happy to hear Michael Jackson, Madonna or Elvis. It takes them back to the good ol' days. Example: "Piano Man" by Billy Joel.

4. Group Numbers
Meaning 3-4 people, not 12. These will also probably get the crowd to sing along. Example: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

5. Duets
"Crazy in Love" by Beyonce and Jay-Z or "I Got You Babe" by Sonny and Cher.

*"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung" -Voltaire

Monday, March 15, 2010

The Nets try really hard not to have the worst record in NBA history

After 66 games the New Jersey Nets only have 7 wins. Ouch. They need 3 wins to get to 10, and thus avoiding the shame of having the worst record in the history of the NBA.

The Nets can and should avoid that record. Yes, they have had stretches like 18 consecutive losses. But twice they won three in 14 games and once three in 15games. So it’s possible.

Also, the schedule lightens up a little with seven games currently against teams under .500, including at Philadelphia, Washington and Indiana and home for Sacramento, Detroit and Chicago.

Really, the only thing the Nets have to play for at this point? Their pride and avoiding the record that the franchise will have to live with forever. But it’s going to take a commitment to doing what needs to be done on both ends of the floor.

Current worst record? Philadelphia 76's in the 1972-1973 season. They went 9-73.

So, can the Nets steal the title?

Facebook in Reality

I stole this from my professor's blog. She showed it to us in class. We loved it.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Polyphonic Spree

I really really really miss my cousin Kami, who is in the MTC preparing to serve a mission in Chile. While browsing, a page about the Polyphonic Spree came up. This reminded me of Kami, who introduced me to this bizarre group years ago when I visited her in Massachusetts.

The Polyphonic Spree is a self-described "choral symphonic rock" group from the Dallas, Texas area. The band generally consists of a 10-person choir, a pair of keyboardists, as well as a percussionist, drummer, bassist, guitarist, flautist, trumpeter, trombonist, violinist/violist, harpist, French horn player, a pedal steel player, theremin player, and an electronic effects person. Individual members and the number of musicians vary because of the flexibility necessary in traveling with such a large band. Tim DeLaughter is musical director and contributes lead vocals, as well as keyboards, guitar, and percussion.

They are creepy. But, it is a golden memory so I decided to share it with the blogging world. Here you go:

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Facebook Confidence

My parents love to tell me that my generation no longer knows how to interact with people in "real life" and that texting and facebook are ruining our relationships.

I don't know if these things are ruining it all for us, but I do believe in a thing I like to call facebook confidence. There are some things we do or say over facebook that we would never say in "real life". Often times this applies to texts as well. Why is it so easy for this to happen? My 2 main theories are:

1. We can't see the person, so it doesn't seem as real. In fact, there have been several occasions I can think of in my life and my friend's lives when the things a person said over facebook were never mentioned again in "real life" or they were only mentioned because another topic was brought up that reminded them of that time you were a huge freak and asked them if they were "getting your hints". This leads to the facebook confidence almost being not "real" itself. If things get weird on facebook, you can always log off and act like "facebook chat was totally freaking out", but in "real life" if you just randomly walked away in the middle of the conversation you will most certainly be labeled socially awkward.

2. We have time to think of what to say. We have power that is not there in a face-to-face conversation. We have the ability to type and erase until we think of something witty and intelligent to send. The downfall of this is that so do they. And then you feel the need to trump the wit and intelligence with each thing you type, thinking that you are hilarius/bold/smart/flirtatious or whatever (which IS facebook confidence) and it can get weird. Especially later that night when you are lying in bed reviewing in your head what you said.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Obama Girl No Longer Has a Crush on the President

Obama girl has lost her crush on Barack Obama. . . and it is news worthy.

"In my opinion, I feel like he should be focusing a lot more on jobs and the economy," Amber Lee Ettinger (Obama Girl) told the New York Post.
"He did create some jobs, but most of them were government jobs and that doesn't really help the middle class," she added.

Her grade for Obama: B- minus.

Types of Witches

The following list was found on the floor of a 3rd grade classroom in Washington D.C.
Some are more inappropriate than others. Overall, hilarious.

If you are struggling to read them, here is the full list, typed:

Types of Bitches

1) Dirty dumb ass bitches
2) Aint got no ass bitches
3) Dusty trick bitches
4) Fishy bitches
5) Don’t know how to fight bitches
6) Got all that mouth but can’t step bitches
7) Ugly looking bitch that think they all that
8) Can’t keep a man bitch
9) Track wearing bitches
10) Bitches that be trying to steal your man

11) Hoochie looking bitches

12) Ain’t got no damn sense bitches
13) Stupid bitches that act dumb
14) Bitches who can only get a dirty boy
15) Want to be jocking bitches
16) Bitches who think their man love them but get pregnant and be left alone
17) Bitches who think they better than me
18) Instigating bitches
19) Talking behind your back bitches
20) Loud mouth bitches
21) Pissy bitches
22) Stingy bitches
23) Funky looking bitches
24) Short hair bitches
25) Spanish bitches who think they all that cause of their hair

26) Bitches that be ignoring you when they know they can hear you
27) Staring in your face bitches
28) Big eyed looking bitches
29) Crazy bitches
30) Nappy tender headed bitches
31) Booty shorts wearing bitches

32) Coast-signing bitches
33) Dick riding bitches
34) Whipped bitches
35) Buck tooth bitches
36) Cheesy teeth bitches
37) Same wearing clothes each day bitches
38) Ghetto bitches
39) Hair dyeing bitches

40) Wearing shoes that be talking bitches
41) Bitches who think they hard
42) Bitches that think they get money
43) Bitches that go to a dirty school
44) (page missing)
45) (page missing)
46) (page missing)
47) (page missing)
48) (page missing)
49) (page missing)
50) (page missing)
51) (page missing)
52) (page missing)
53) (page missing)
54) (page missing)
55) (page missing)
56) (page missing)
57) (page missing)
58) (page missing)
59) Gay bitches

60) Stanky fishy coochie smelling bitches
61) Tomboy bitches
62) Stain on your pants bitches
63) Dry scalp dandruff bitches
64) Dirty hair bitches
65) Stealing bitches
66) Stinky feet bitches
67) Big gap bitches
68) Protecting their store bitches
69) Pajamas outside bitches

70) Ragly braid bitches
71) Stanky butt bitches
72) Greedy bitches
73) Slimy grimy bitches
74) Psycho bitches
75) Drug dealing bitches
76) Geekin’ bitches
77) Suntanning bitches

78) Goofy looking bitches
79) Triflin’ bitches
80) Skanky bitches
81) Mugging bitches
82) Sloppy bitches
83) Dirty fingernails bitches
84) Dirty sock wearing bitches
85) Uncreative bitches
86) White bitches that think black people poor
87) Conceited bitches

88) Tall bitches
89) Short bitches

90) Jealous bitches

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Boston Celtics- Elderly in the NBA

For the third season in a row, Boston has dipped into the veteran free agent market and added depth for a title run, this time in the form of former All-Star Michael Finley. Now that the Celtics signed Michael Finley, age 37!! (the 8th oldest in the NBA) they have some of the oldest players in the NBA.

Adding Finley made Kevin Garnett, 33 with high mileage, the team's fourth-oldest player. On 12 other teams, KG would be the eldest statesman.

Finley is no doubt a great player:

He has averaged 15.9 PPG, 4.4 RPG and 3.0 APG in his 14-year career, all while shooting 37.4 percent from 3-point range. He will wear No. 40 for the Celts.

Boston will welcome Finley to the team for its 8 p.m. Sunday night matchup with the Wizards in the Garden, but it's unknown if he will play.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Cougar Town

Cougar Town is the funniest show in the world. I have compiled what I believe to be the most hilarious quotes from the show. If they say anything really hilarious in the future I will let you know. Also, I have included a clip from my favorite episode. And Ellie is THE best.

Cougar Town Quotes:
1. Laurie [to Jules for picture]: Arch your back and stick out your chest
Ellie: And say classy!

2. Ellie [to Andy]: Listen half pint, I'm not gonna thank you for things you're supposed to do. If I did I'd have to start thanking you for killing bugs and supporting me.

3. Ellie: Racist Uncle or Drug Dealer Uncle?
Jules: Racist Uncle. Drug Dealer Uncle is now Prison Uncle.
Ellie: Oh right, because of Detective Cousin.

4. Laurie: Hey Grayson, if you were at a BBQ playing drinking games with your buds would you chug a girls beer and hug her sweetly from behind without trying to cop a feel if you weren't in love with her?
Grayson: Please stop coming to my bar.

5. Grayson: When women get older, it's icky. When men get older, it's adorable. It's my favorite double standard.
Jules: Yeah, I'm not a huge fan.

6. Jules: Good morning! I've been up for hours
Grayson: I had eggs for breakfast
Jules: What?
Grayson: Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were sharing incredibly boring facts about each other.

7. Jules: I'm guessing the boy I flashed goes to your school
Travis: Yes he does
Jules: Is he single? ... Kidding! Why don't you ever laugh at my jokes?
Travis: Because they make me sad.

8. Travis: I'm sure it's not that bad, let me see.
Barb: No! Innocence should be lost in the bedroom... or on a commercial cruise liner.

so much love.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Stages of Love (in the Media)

In my class, we talked about how there are media stages that one has to go through when wanting to get to know someone better. I am pretty positive that it was this: (and if not, I think that this is pretty darn accurate anyway)

So, you meet someone briefly, and they seem cool so you want to get to know them. Now you,
1. Add them as a friend on facebook. Sooner if you have mutual friends, because that is obviously how you found them (I was looking at Sarah's page, and saw you wrote on her wall last month!)

2. You like their status. This is good because it means you are recognizing the facebook friendship, but you could have easily just seen their status in your newsfeed, and "liked" it, you definitely weren't stalking their profile!

3. Facebook chat. Once you break the facebook boundary, you can have a conversation over fb chat. What a wonderful little tool. You can even say something about how funny thier status was, how true you thought it to be.

4. Over facebook chat, or possibly a message, you can now move on to GETTING THEIR NUMBER. This is a huge step, and it is a tricky one, because you usually have to have a reason. Few people just ask for it straight up- that is usually socially awkward.

5. Texting. Texting is where its at. Once you feel comfortable texting a guy about a random thing, this means your relationship is finally developing. However, it is a tough call when to draw the line on creepy texts, and what hour the texts are sent (3AM- not okay).

6. CALLING THEM ON THE PHONE- this is one of the most bold things a person can do nowadays. And I am talking about calling for basically no reason, or making up a reason just so you can talk to them. Not if you legitimately need to talk to them. We so rarely just chat to people over the phone now, especially if we are interested in them. So, this step shows real initiative.

Now, for some people, the hang out comes before all 6 steps, which is fine. But the 6 steps still happen before you are "in a relationship".
Most people say that if someone goes out of order, it seems socially awkward. . . What do you think!?